You go about your day, every day experiencing this and that, talking to people, interacting with people, doing things, going about your day. Then something happens…
Some motherfucker cuts you off, you get hit with a unexpected bill right after you paid off a credit card, your wife cheats on you, your kids piss you off. You’re seeing red, you’re wanting to KILL SOMEONE…
So the problem with this, is that immediately after you’ve been set off you’re out to kill. You’re overwhelmed, you’re anxious, you got knots in your stomach, and chances are LIFE DOESN’T STOP.
So here you are, triggered as fuck and your kids come up and want to spend the night at their friends, and you go off on them cuz you’re mad about some other thing still. Ever done that before? WE DO IT ALL THE TIME.
Know what else we do? probably more than release it on people who don’t deserve to get the brunt of your rage, is that we bottle it up. Let’s use someone cutting you off for example, you might be like “mothefucker” in your mind, and your heart rate goes up, you think of a bunch of ways to kill them and then you move on. The thing with this though, is that you’re still uptight, you’re still thinking of it. This thing has possibly RUINED your day.
You get to work, slightly mad because your morning sucked and maybe you treat people a little crappier, or you avoid social situations because you’re still thinking about the event from the morning. Dude, this is unhealthy as fuck! and it doesn’t have to be this way.
So how do we manage this?
First of all, you NEED to manage it and get it out. You need to deal with this – otherwise it’s going to bottle up inside you and you’ll release it on the wrong people/person for the wrong reason later on down the line, or you’re going to end up doing something you DO NOT want to do. You’ll fuck up your world, bro.
So one of the tools (and it’s really super easy) to handle this is to release that shit, get it ALL out. All you gotta do here is get somewhere private and let it the fuck out. SCREAM IT OUT, Bitch, complain, moan let it go, lash out as if they’re right in front of you.
Name that shit and OWN IT: who is this about? what did they do? what do you want to do to them? if you could force them to change or do something, what would you force them to do? why are you still pissed at them/it?
Write it ALL down or think it out very deliberately. Once you’ve done this, you should have clarity on the source and purpose of your feelings around what set you off, you’ve given it context. The important thing here is that you assign some meaning to it and understand fully why you’ve been set off. This way, you can go on and think about how you’re going to resolve it.
You’ll be cooler, calmer, and have clarity around the issue much more than if you just let your emotions guide you. Instead, here you’re using the emotions as a catalyst to understand the situation fully.