Do you even know, bro?
Often times we see it plastered on the “about me” pages of our blogs, social and personal spaces online, it goes something like this:
I’m a father, a husband, a creator, investor, a lover, a fighter, et cetera and blah, blah, blah
Know what you never see?
I’m a douchebag, a selfish prick, a piece of shit that goes to work all the time and ignores his family
I’m a cheater, I screw other women because I like it while my wife sits at home raising my kids.
I go to church but I feel like I’m unworthy to be there, but I keep going and everyone there thinks everything is ok
What we never see is the TRUTH.
What we never see is how we’d grown so accustomed to checking the boxes that we feel we are doing the right thing and being “authentic” because we “checked all the right boxes”.
See, we’re told things as we grow up. We’re told things in our “education”. We tell things to ourselves (such as the rosy ass unicorn-forest bullshit above about being a great husband and all that), and we believe these things.
For a while, I was a catholic – with that, came a whole list of expectations, beliefs, thoughts, politics, and world-views to which I was expected to conform to in order to be a “good catholic”. At one time, I tried to fit these molds. Maybe you do right now? but do they serve you? is it REALLY who YOU are?
I also once was a Mormon, an IT engineer, a this, a that… all sorts of fucking labels.
Regardless, these things end up making up “who we are”, or at least who we THINK we are. Even if we don’t feel it or think it to ourselves, it’s what we project out to the world.
Unfortunately, these things we think we are, or project to everyone on the outside, are usually about as far from the actual truth as it comes. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE KNOW US! and most of the time, it’s COMPLETELY FAKE.
Deep down, we’re not our labels and we think we understand that yet we live each day like we are those labels, so we have a part of us which is shown to the world, and a part of us which we keep inside, hidden. In essence, we live each day as a lying version of our real self. This fake-ass self, is what everyone out there knows us as.
Pretty fucked up, eh?
Here’s some questions that are worth thinking about in complete honesty – and I don’t mean in the next 5 minutes. In fact, if this takes you less than a few hours to think about, then your answers are bullshit:
- Who are you?
Like right now, today in this moment
- Who have you been?
In the past, what’s your history?
- Who do you desire to be?
If you could be anyone, what does that look like?
- Who do you believe yourself to be?
This one is big. What are you capable of being? What do you BELIEVE you can become and are in process of becoming?
These questions lay a foundation for what you can be, and a place from which you can start looking at what you need to DO to get yourself there.